The Incredible Dude-O-Caster
Dudes and Dudettes…..OK! OK! I’ll fess up. I am the deranged, misguided individual that is responsible for conjuring up the now legendary Dude-O-Caster guitar. The DOC now resides in a climate controlled vault within the compound of the Angry White Dude. The wickedly-cool custom guitar is under 24 hour armed guard. For an added measure of security, a dozen rabid Pit Bulls patrol the perimeter of AWD’s super-secret bunker.
A few months back, AWD asked me if I’d be interested in becoming a contributor or editor for Music That Doesn’t Suck. I immediately jumped on the opportunity. How cool is that? I’d be writing commentary and opinion for that ol’ stud dog himself, AWD!
Maybe it was a momentary lapse of judgment or possibly a genius business decision, who can say? After all, this would free up AWD’s time for important stuff like fightin’ for truth, justice, and the American way. With a new guy humpin’ a portion of the writing load, AWD will also have more time to hunker down in his rehearsal studio to practice those bodacious B-string bends and monster bone rattling power chords on that most awesome Dude-O-Caster.
This is what is THOUGHT to be the situation. But an un-named source from inside the AWD bunker claims to possess intel to refute the official story. This anonymous source has agreed to provide un-redacted documents as evidence that AWD has been named as Chairman of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Selection Committee. As of the time of this writing, I have not seen these documents.
Another source, claiming inside knowledge of the situation, has allegedly uncovered evidence supporting a theory that Steely Dan is looking for a new guitarist to replace Jon Herrington and “Dan” is actively pursuing AWD for the gig.
If the Steely Dan intel is solid, I know a guy, who knows a guy that has a cousin that used to date the doorman to Walter Becker’s plush Manhattan penthouse apartment building and this doorman dude may be able to provide details, if he is able to speak English. The situation is still fluid, but it is conceivable that AWD could very well be on tour with Steely Dan by this time next year.
Considering all of the above scenarios, I’m left with the enviable task of digging deep into the Savage Guitar Design archives and write about Music That Doesn’t Suck. Not being the supreme wordsmith, the pressure is certainly on though! As the Pop Culture Editor, I’ll have to display my “expertise” in other stuff that doesn’t suck, or maybe just fake it!
Whether it be Rock’n’Roll, Country, Jazz, or any of the other genres and sub-categories of music, there is a boatload of great tunes out there that we may never get to hear and enjoy unless someone introduces it to us and our playlists. Don’tcha just despise the dreck that the “big labels” shovel at us? The music execs heap a long ton of harmonic crap on the public while telling everyone that this is what they want to hear…… Au contraire, mon ami! It is NOT what we want to hear. Personally, I prefer a little substance with my style.
To the “tunage”!!!!!!
To pay homage to the tone monster of all tone monster guitars, the Dude-O-Caster, this edition of Music That Doesn’t Suck will feature a couple guitar tunes.
Jimmy Thackery…..Cool Guitars
John Hiatt……Perfectly Good Guitar